THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
