What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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