You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i think i have herpe
just one?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
