cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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