fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize