3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
