R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
