Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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