Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
