We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He better not be in your backpack
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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