i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize