Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the condom got lost in my hair
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
