On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
