you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
