There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
