i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
