Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
