i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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