.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The struggles of a small town man whore
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
