What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
