Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
