I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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