He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize