I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
