Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
