Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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