I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
