Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
