My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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