idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
