chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize