That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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