maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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