sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
