Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
