and next time when you feel me up, do it right
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
