its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
