Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
