Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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