Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Too much gin, very little bucket
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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