She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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