Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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