That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
