The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
