A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ladies don't puke and tell
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
