i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
