She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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