Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
