you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
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