im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
