I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
