God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Randomize
