I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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