If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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