Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
