I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
