Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
